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Most of us will do somersaults to avoid the uncomfortable interaction of telling someone the opposite of what they want to hear, particularly when it involves romantic feelings.

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Like, I couldn't even drum up any small talk with her, and it was horrible. Define the dynamic upfront The best way to approach this topic is early on. I always felt awkward, and I always felt the person sitting across from me was judging everything I said or did. I happened to fall into No and they happened to be perfect at the time.

How to tell someone you’re not looking for a relationship - one love foundation

It was like entering some lame, lonely ant, where I was the only contestant. Do things you wouldn't do, find adventurous men in adventurous places and put yourself out there!

All you have to go on is how you feel and what you need today. It was going to be great Lookinv gave my heart away like it was a slice of pizza—something to be consumed, and consumed quickly before the flavor ran looknig. Dating was like entering some lame, lonely ant, where I was the only contestant. Because if this was applied to anything else — like a job — this approach would be regarded as disgraceful and lazy. I just want to chase happiness, chase ,ove who fill me with light, chase an existence that is fulfilling and hopeful and good.

In some cases, taking time to explain how you feel can help them better accept your decision and move on. If it shifts into unhealthy territory where the other person is trying to change your mind or make you feel bad, for example blaming or guilting you for your decision, end the conversation.

From then on, I was going to do this dating thing on my own terms. Not looking for someone who will make sense of all my broken pieces—because honestly, I can do that on my own.

I was in such a damn hurry to love, to open, to be with someone and plan a beautiful future that I forget to plan my own—one without anyone else. It was after that disaster date when I drew the line and refused to be set up ever again.

I’m not looking for love—i’m looking for happiness | thought catalog

For the longest time, I fell into relationships foolishly. You could leave it at that or you could go into more loove, helping the other person understand your perspective. Everywhere you turn it feels like the world is reminding you of your singleness, or encouraging you to pursue relationships, or pressuring you to find the one and settle down. I hope so. Couples walking down the street.

I’m not looking for love—i’m looking for happiness

And second of all, that love is not everything. But I was chasing all the wrong things. Learn more tips on how to let someone down easy or other healthy relationship advice on the One Love blog. Even in hindsight, I cringe.

Of course they wouldn't. Your energy impacts how you're living your life and, more specifically, how you're showing up for your dates.

Expert explains if 'you'll find love when you stop looking' is a real thing

According to Cobden, These people might find love, but it can take years and years. Most of us will do somersaults to avoid the uncomfortable interaction of telling someone the opposite of what they want to hear, particularly when it involves romantic feelings. As each date passed, communication with the women I'd take out would eventually die off, and I'd find myself reluctantly back at square Nor. Would mom, dad or grandma respect this decision?

Expert explains if 'you'll find love when you stop looking' is a real thing

I was forever chasing a person rather than a dream, forever looking for love rather than a person to love life loking me. To find an answer, I spoke with Deanna Cobdena dating and relationship coach and an authority who insists that this common advice is usually the basis for what worked for the people giving the advice.

Your needs are always valid and taking care of yourself is something you should never have to apologize for or be made to feel bad about. In some ways, this makes sense—connection is beautiful.

But no longer am I pressured to find a person or search for love. I know this all sounds very elusive and vague at this point, but we're getting to the answer, I promise.

Does one's absolute refusal to find love mean it will eventually find you? It can also communicate a degree of respect and care for their feelings.

Was there any truth to it? When you're looking for loveit's all about energy, according to Cobden.

I was always with someone, always searching, never content to simply be with myself. Whatever the situation, focusing on feelings and needs will help prevent it from escalating into an argument. But your search must come pove a place of being fulfilled and happy first. I've had clients that have been single anywhere from 3 - 20 years with no more than a handful of dates based on this statement. Which was in the perfect place for growth. There were people around me getting married, having children, starting their lives with a special person on their arm—and where was Lookijg And where he finds himself with me, and happy, too.

I was so excited about sharing my heart that I neglected to share that love and light with myself, first. To me, it was as simple as that. Because every hand I held and all the lips I kissed made me who I am.